Monday, 18 May 2009
On the upside though
I dreamt about that I found an extra piece of garden I didn't know I had and that it had a great big greenhouse on it, I am taking this as a sign that I NEED to get a greenhouse, as my Aunty Lil would say, 'It's fate!'.
Neighbours
Sunday was crap.
Had a huge fight with the bloke who lives opposite.
He made my eldest son cry when he shouted at him. My husband went over to ask if everything was OK and could we talk about it, he had misinterpreted what had happened, my lad was demonstrating in slow motion why someone had been sent off in a footy game he had seen. He looked out the window and thought he saw my lad kicking his lad, he went off on one.
His lad even tried to tell him, he wouldn't listen and was convinced what he saw was right. He then proceeded to accuse my children of CONSTANT BULLYING and CONSTANT SWEARING ( my little one owned up to saying 'bitch' once but admitted he didn't know what it meant). We called a stop to the conversation and said we needed to go away cool off and have a proper discussion when we had all calmed down, we said that accusations of bullying were very serious and needed to be dealt with properly.
We went back to ours but he knocked on the door anyway a few minutes later....he didn't want to cool off. It all got very heated and out of hand, I became a defensive Mama Bear fishwife hybrid. I am not proud of myself. I feel shit today.
I was surprised at how defensive I got, I always thought I would be able to deal with any criticism of the children with a cool head but he was no fucking idea what he is talking about.
All the children in the Close fall out from time to time, none of them pick on each other although they are occasionally mean and argue. From what I remember that's what being a kid is like. He has no clue what they play like because he never ever comes out and sees what's going on. His kid is forever dancing about on the top of his car and sliding down the bonnet, he has accused other kids of scratching the car bonnet with footballs when his lad has just finished doing the fandango all over it.
His kid just craves attention and his weapon of choice is telling tales, he gets the most attention by getting other children into trouble. I know because I have spent years pretending to clean windows, tending my garden and literally sitting on the drive in a deck chair reading a glossy mag making sure they are all ok.
I have never been so angry, I was shaking , my mouth went dry, even my husband, who has a Yoda like calm about him, was tense to say the least.
I tried to reason with him but he was having none of it, he has my children down as evil little devils and that's all he had to say on the matter. My kids are obviously mortified, we talked a lot about bullying at home and at school and they know all the reasons why it is wrong, what to do to stop it and what to do if you are a victim of it. Kids falling out is one thing accusations of bullying is quite another fish. This guy has been in a bad mood for about five years, he regularly throws his lad out the front door and I have seen the kid wandering around the Close after 8pm (he is 6) when they seem to have forgotten to call him in for a bath.
We are lucky that we live in a plce where the children can play out safely but he is ruining it with misguided over protection and a lack of common sense. It is so difficult reasoning with someone who is so unreasonable. We already have one dodgy neighbour in the street another would just be rubbish!
I feel a little bit sick that our lovely little enclave is going to be mashed because this grumpy fucker can't rememeber what it was like being a kid, they have to learn to get along.
Policing the world from behind your net curtains does fuck all, get your arse out and take your place. If the most trouble my children ever get into is falling out over who is the better footy team and saying pishh off then I'll buy that for a dollar.
Is it too early for gin?
Had a huge fight with the bloke who lives opposite.
He made my eldest son cry when he shouted at him. My husband went over to ask if everything was OK and could we talk about it, he had misinterpreted what had happened, my lad was demonstrating in slow motion why someone had been sent off in a footy game he had seen. He looked out the window and thought he saw my lad kicking his lad, he went off on one.
His lad even tried to tell him, he wouldn't listen and was convinced what he saw was right. He then proceeded to accuse my children of CONSTANT BULLYING and CONSTANT SWEARING ( my little one owned up to saying 'bitch' once but admitted he didn't know what it meant). We called a stop to the conversation and said we needed to go away cool off and have a proper discussion when we had all calmed down, we said that accusations of bullying were very serious and needed to be dealt with properly.
We went back to ours but he knocked on the door anyway a few minutes later....he didn't want to cool off. It all got very heated and out of hand, I became a defensive Mama Bear fishwife hybrid. I am not proud of myself. I feel shit today.
I was surprised at how defensive I got, I always thought I would be able to deal with any criticism of the children with a cool head but he was no fucking idea what he is talking about.
All the children in the Close fall out from time to time, none of them pick on each other although they are occasionally mean and argue. From what I remember that's what being a kid is like. He has no clue what they play like because he never ever comes out and sees what's going on. His kid is forever dancing about on the top of his car and sliding down the bonnet, he has accused other kids of scratching the car bonnet with footballs when his lad has just finished doing the fandango all over it.
His kid just craves attention and his weapon of choice is telling tales, he gets the most attention by getting other children into trouble. I know because I have spent years pretending to clean windows, tending my garden and literally sitting on the drive in a deck chair reading a glossy mag making sure they are all ok.
I have never been so angry, I was shaking , my mouth went dry, even my husband, who has a Yoda like calm about him, was tense to say the least.
I tried to reason with him but he was having none of it, he has my children down as evil little devils and that's all he had to say on the matter. My kids are obviously mortified, we talked a lot about bullying at home and at school and they know all the reasons why it is wrong, what to do to stop it and what to do if you are a victim of it. Kids falling out is one thing accusations of bullying is quite another fish. This guy has been in a bad mood for about five years, he regularly throws his lad out the front door and I have seen the kid wandering around the Close after 8pm (he is 6) when they seem to have forgotten to call him in for a bath.
We are lucky that we live in a plce where the children can play out safely but he is ruining it with misguided over protection and a lack of common sense. It is so difficult reasoning with someone who is so unreasonable. We already have one dodgy neighbour in the street another would just be rubbish!
I feel a little bit sick that our lovely little enclave is going to be mashed because this grumpy fucker can't rememeber what it was like being a kid, they have to learn to get along.
Policing the world from behind your net curtains does fuck all, get your arse out and take your place. If the most trouble my children ever get into is falling out over who is the better footy team and saying pishh off then I'll buy that for a dollar.
Is it too early for gin?
Friday, 15 May 2009
MPs
Listen up, I don't care that it was 'within the rules'... pay for your luxury items with your substantial wages you greedy bitches and stop moaning about your job YOU CHOSE IT, fucker.
Thursday, 23 April 2009
The Good Life
So...in my quest to become Felicity Kendall I am building raised vegetable beds, when I say *I am* I mean *my long suffering husband is*. He would like to read a good book, play street football and become Slash via Guitar Hero, and he can, as soon as I have finished bossing him about and moaning about the position of the nails.
I wanted to build the whole thing out of reclaimed wood but I have discovered that the tip isn't the free for all it used to be......once it's in the skip you can't have it, you have to stalk the cars and tippers to get the rich pickings before they sling it in, and even then you have to make sure the Tip Guys don't catch you. There was no suitable wood as it turned out but I did get a 1950's dark wood sewing box on legs, a little fixer upper for £1.25, the fella said it was £2.50 but he got sick of waiting for me to fish around in my handbag for the correct change and the ice cream man was about to go... ( what ice cream man stalks the tip gates? A clever one as it happens as there is always a queue, these days the tip is a proper day out).
When we got home we were talking to The Lovely Matthew From Next Door and he gave us two sides of his old shed, perfect, we knocked the end bits together and will finish it off this weekend......I already have bell peppers nearly ready to plant out as well as salad stuff that has been growing on the kitchen window sill...I will start small and take it slow as I am a bugger for messing about with plants and being a bit chop happy. Eventually I would like year round fresh produce so I can spend less in Tesco. Hurrah!
I wanted to build the whole thing out of reclaimed wood but I have discovered that the tip isn't the free for all it used to be......once it's in the skip you can't have it, you have to stalk the cars and tippers to get the rich pickings before they sling it in, and even then you have to make sure the Tip Guys don't catch you. There was no suitable wood as it turned out but I did get a 1950's dark wood sewing box on legs, a little fixer upper for £1.25, the fella said it was £2.50 but he got sick of waiting for me to fish around in my handbag for the correct change and the ice cream man was about to go... ( what ice cream man stalks the tip gates? A clever one as it happens as there is always a queue, these days the tip is a proper day out).
When we got home we were talking to The Lovely Matthew From Next Door and he gave us two sides of his old shed, perfect, we knocked the end bits together and will finish it off this weekend......I already have bell peppers nearly ready to plant out as well as salad stuff that has been growing on the kitchen window sill...I will start small and take it slow as I am a bugger for messing about with plants and being a bit chop happy. Eventually I would like year round fresh produce so I can spend less in Tesco. Hurrah!
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
[------------II--] Annoyed-O-Meter
Spent all week chasing payment for works done, come on people pay ya fucking bills....have been left with just a few quid again and it's beginning to get on my tits. I offer people good deals wholesale and on commissioned stuff and they still take a bleedin age to cough up, arrrrrrghhhhh, poor blonde child has a hole in his trainers big enough to drive a relatively large Hotwheels dinky vehicle through, please don't let it rain!!!!
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Put it away you idiot.
I lived in London for about 10 years. During that period I was a 'victim of crime' 3 times. One was official, I got a letter from the police inviting me to attend victim of crimes counselling, and the other two I didn't report.
The 'official' crime was when I got by flat burgled. I was sharing with a friend who insisted on switching all the lights off and leaving all the curtains open when we were out even though I told her a million billion times that it would be best to do the opposite....this wasn't a 'nice' neighbourhood just because it had an Islington address, we were essentially Dalston border. Any cheeky git could have a recee and bash the window in , basement flat, old vicarage, wobbly windows...we may as well have left the fucking door open. The day after Boxing day some cheeky git just had a reccee and bashed the window in, all my stuff was nicked including all my underwear and pj's my, cds jewellery, what wasn't nicked was wrecked. It was carnage. Interestingly her room was so messy that they couldn't, or didn't want to try to find anything of value. That'll teach me to be neat and have matching bras and pants.
The other two crimes were less material and more... shall we say... *sexual* or at the very least a bit Carry On. The first took place at Waterloo Station, I was on the train and this pin stripe suited fellow got on and sat opposite, He had a broad sheet that he was reading.....so far so normal. Then he started flicking the edge of the paper trying to attract my attention. I of course ignored him and tried to get back to my book. He became very insistent. I pointedly didn't look up, he became more insistent so with a sigh I looked up to see that under the paper he had his cock out....poking through his trousers. In what I can only describe as a cat like lightening quick reflex, I stood up, pointed and shouted at the top of my voice,'That man has he PENIS out'!!!!!!
The whole , quite packed by now, carriage turned round and he got up and ran off the train with his nob still flapping about. I think my use of the word 'penis' gave my retaliation a more grown up flavour adding to his humiliation.
The other non crime was also a flashing but took place in West Hampstead tube station. I was going to Waitrose in St John's Wood for our groceries, I had moved into a flat with my new boyfriend and future husband, living like kings on two fat wages. We had taken a flat in West Hampstead probably the most expensive place I have ever rented ( although the one we had in Dublin was pretty fucking expensive for an ex council flat, Celtic tiger greed). Anyhoo, I got on the train which was quite full and this bloke got on and stood in front of me and the lady sitting next to me....the train sat there for a bit and he got off although he didn't leave the platform he just stood with his back to us in one of the side tunnels. The train continued to sit there and this bloke was still in the tunnel although now his arm was moving about a bit....he caught the attention of the lady sitting next to me and we both commented on his odd behaviour...then all of a sudden, he turned round and started waving his nob up and down at us. He wasn't wanking off just flapping it about, maybe he couldn't get hard or something but it was the most bizarre thing I have ever seen, it was quite big so he had a lot to work with. He continued to waggle it up and down until the train eventually pulled out of the station.
The 'Lady Sitting Next To Me' commented that you don't get many of those to the pound and we laughed and laughed all the way to Waitrose.
The 'official' crime was when I got by flat burgled. I was sharing with a friend who insisted on switching all the lights off and leaving all the curtains open when we were out even though I told her a million billion times that it would be best to do the opposite....this wasn't a 'nice' neighbourhood just because it had an Islington address, we were essentially Dalston border. Any cheeky git could have a recee and bash the window in , basement flat, old vicarage, wobbly windows...we may as well have left the fucking door open. The day after Boxing day some cheeky git just had a reccee and bashed the window in, all my stuff was nicked including all my underwear and pj's my, cds jewellery, what wasn't nicked was wrecked. It was carnage. Interestingly her room was so messy that they couldn't, or didn't want to try to find anything of value. That'll teach me to be neat and have matching bras and pants.
The other two crimes were less material and more... shall we say... *sexual* or at the very least a bit Carry On. The first took place at Waterloo Station, I was on the train and this pin stripe suited fellow got on and sat opposite, He had a broad sheet that he was reading.....so far so normal. Then he started flicking the edge of the paper trying to attract my attention. I of course ignored him and tried to get back to my book. He became very insistent. I pointedly didn't look up, he became more insistent so with a sigh I looked up to see that under the paper he had his cock out....poking through his trousers. In what I can only describe as a cat like lightening quick reflex, I stood up, pointed and shouted at the top of my voice,'That man has he PENIS out'!!!!!!
The whole , quite packed by now, carriage turned round and he got up and ran off the train with his nob still flapping about. I think my use of the word 'penis' gave my retaliation a more grown up flavour adding to his humiliation.
The other non crime was also a flashing but took place in West Hampstead tube station. I was going to Waitrose in St John's Wood for our groceries, I had moved into a flat with my new boyfriend and future husband, living like kings on two fat wages. We had taken a flat in West Hampstead probably the most expensive place I have ever rented ( although the one we had in Dublin was pretty fucking expensive for an ex council flat, Celtic tiger greed). Anyhoo, I got on the train which was quite full and this bloke got on and stood in front of me and the lady sitting next to me....the train sat there for a bit and he got off although he didn't leave the platform he just stood with his back to us in one of the side tunnels. The train continued to sit there and this bloke was still in the tunnel although now his arm was moving about a bit....he caught the attention of the lady sitting next to me and we both commented on his odd behaviour...then all of a sudden, he turned round and started waving his nob up and down at us. He wasn't wanking off just flapping it about, maybe he couldn't get hard or something but it was the most bizarre thing I have ever seen, it was quite big so he had a lot to work with. He continued to waggle it up and down until the train eventually pulled out of the station.
The 'Lady Sitting Next To Me' commented that you don't get many of those to the pound and we laughed and laughed all the way to Waitrose.
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