Friday 29 August 2008

Been On Holiday

So I have been on holiday, Derbyshire, Shatton .......which of course made me giggle like a twat every time we past the sign to the farm......sister in law got married in a barn, my crystal and vintage button bridal bouquet went down a storm.
My thigh muscles are still singing from all the delicious walking, my Vans with the colourful skulls all over are dead, need to get more. Will post pictorial holiday montage when I can be arsed.

Friday 15 August 2008

In Laws

The in laws are coming over from France for my sister in laws wedding. They are having a stop over at ours.
I haven't seem them since October 07 due to nasty behaviour of mother in law on last holiday.....I wasn't going to subject myself to her crap etc etc.
I have decided to take it easy today and PRETEND that the windows are clean and that everywhere has been tidied. In fact I think it is nearly Pimms O Clock. Hurrah!

Friday 8 August 2008

ooOOoOO Look at the sky!

I live in a very very VERY suburban cul de sac......there is always a child's bike on the pavement with the back wheel turning slowly and a gaggle running about. The neighbours are all very nice and we don't get too involved in each others 'stuff' ( unlike the next Close along..The Party Close... where rumours of intermarital affairs and late night liasons were rife). During the day all the front doors are open and kids wander in and out. We have an unspoken agreement to keep an eye on each other's kids but not get too shouty.
There has never been any break-ins (except when some pissed teen kid had been jumping over fences and got into next door's garden, thought it was his own house and fucked the patio door). Even though this is far from my dream forever house it fits the bill nicely...I want my children to have memories of long summers 'playing out', 'wandering around' and 'knocking about'. It all works quite well.
Occasionally something happens to put everyone in a tail spin......the street light went out!!! Lordy. THEN it didn't get fixed!!!!!
THEN another went out!!!!!!! and THAT didn't get fixed!!!!
I thought Alan across the road would have a mild heart attack.
I quite like a bit of friction and the possible revolt amused me....I watched hoping Alan would go rogue and let loose.
Then everyone realised that at night it was actually quite nice, the sickly yellow glow had gone, it made everyone's bedrooms darker, especially handy when trying to get kid's to sleep in the summer. We liked it the most as one of the lights was outside our bedroom. Darren strung some fairy lights from his fence and it all looked pretty ace, you can see all the stars.
We decided not to rag the council and hoped they would forget about changing the bulbs.......they have....YAY.
We are going to put deckchairs out this weekend, crack a nice bottle of something fizzy and watch the meteor shower.

Thursday 7 August 2008

Another One Bites The Dust

So after weeks of being shouted at by silly old boss man and him undermining all my decisions I declared that I no longer wanted the job. That put the wind up him. It was SO not worth the hassle. It was a full time job for two hard working people and not a part time little pootle around extra pocket money job that he had me believe. Of the 21 house he owned in this town, 2 are being completely refurbished, 3 need complete refurbishment and the rest need more than your average set of repairs and all need total redecoration.
Even Sarah Beeney would drop a bollock and run.
He also had the cheek to question what I did of a day....and after I spent 20 minutes giving him a blow by blow run down of every event that happened that day he THEN tried to jusify asking by saying he wanted to make sure I wasn't trying to rip him off...what a nob. I was a total find, someone who was willing to get her hands dirty and still able to manage effectively, he will have a hard time finding a decent replacement....yeah good luck with that cuntface.

In more money spinning news I got offered a better job and had a big handbag order...YAY.

Friday 1 August 2008

Words what I use a lot

1/ CUNT.... rude but effective, good if you want to shock someone you dislike. Becomes funnier after loads of wine especially when used by an aged aunt or your Mum.

2/ HOOVER.... as in 'I'll get the hoover' or 'OooOoO let me hoover that up'. I am a bit of a hoover addict, sad but it IS great fun and you get fast results. One of my ideal jobs would be hoovering vast acres of carpet maybe at a palace or big National Trust run house/ mansion.

3/ CLARET.... as in 'There was claret all over, big dust up, some chav got shivved'. I have an annoying habit of becoming a not very funny Cockney fishwife impersonator when relaying stories I might have read in the paper or seen on the news. I drink a lot of wine so also use it in the context of 'OOooOOoo go on them just one more glass of claret won't hurt'.