Friday, 27 February 2009

I may increase my risk of cancer...

.....but I will continue to enjoy lovely lovely wine....everyday.

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

How things change.

The last couple of years have been a bit tight financially, we kind of continued to live like a London-based-no-children-to-worry-about couple long after we had left London, got a massive mortgage and a couple of expensive boys (kids need all kinds of shit like food and clothes and stuff not to mention Batman figures and Marvel comics). All that sitting alongside our champagne tastes made us realised we would be heading for disaster if we didn't sort it out. Before the official credit crunch we credit crunched ourselves in a major belt tightening project, I didn't buy any more shoes and we cut down on getting all the new release cd and dvds we wanted. Apart from the dress I wore to my sister in law's wedding I haven't bought any new clothes since Oct 2007, not even knickers as I had so many of them too (two double drawers, hahaha double drawers...sorry). I figured the three double wardrobes of clothes could actually be altered or re-imagined, I have very advanced sewing skills and needed to get my shit together and apply them. We stopped using credit cards and cut down on flashy wine and M&S food treats.
At first it was tough but we are now reaping the benefits, we are actually living within our means and almost being in the black at the end of the month, debts are shrinking and my husband's substantial wages aren't just being chewed up my credit cards and loans.
As for me I am selling my work left right and centre, two big orders for jewellery yesterday and a commission inquiry this morning. For the first time in ages I shopped at the supermarket without having to add it up in my head as I went around. In fact it felt quite odd having extra moolah. Obviously I am going to keep being careful, I don't want to fuck it up by blowing it all on some Manolos but it felt fucking marvellous as I paid the checkout girl knowing I had essentially paid for it by embroidering and making and drawing.

Monday, 23 February 2009

Brain Fart

I had a bunch of cool stuff to blog about and yet can't remember what any of them were. Duh. *puts arms in top and does a Joey*

Monday, 16 February 2009


When I click on this blog all the posts appear to disappear, something is afoot at blogger headquarters.

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

In Which I am Ace

I wanted to keep this blog as anonymous as I could, especially since I am likely to slag my in laws off a massive amount BUT I simply had to brag about my new international artist status. YES I have some work exhibited in a New York gallery! I am very excited. All you bitches who laughed when I embroidered swears onto nylon nighties and called it art can stick it...YEAH!
Seriously though I was asked to submit some work to Gallery Hanahou for their 'Forget Me Not' exhibition. I duly sent 3 pieces and from the Flickr pics they look bloody marvellous. They are for sale too so some lucky New Yorker will be able to own a piece of me and pay for my groceries...kerching! This is my stuff
Tim Berners-Lee thank you for the internets... it has allowed craft to get all arty, I can now legitimately sit in my 'studio' (back double bedroom) and stare into the middle distance in the name of art without my parents questioning what I do all day(gin and Vogue).

Thursday, 5 February 2009

Gigantic Wanker

My neighbour is such a nob and I hate him with the heat of a super nova.
We rarely see 'The Slaters', as we all call them, their house is set slightly apart from all the others in the close and they never venture outside. They keep all their blinds shut and never have the windows open even in summer, instead they run a huge and expensive air conditioning system. I fed their rabbits and fish once when they went on holiday and the house had such thick fuggy air you could pretty much take a slice out of it. They have a son of about 12 years from his first marriage and a daughter from her first (abusive) marriage. She, 'Aunt Sponge Slater' used to have very low opinions of all the other children in the neighbourhood constantly judging until her daughter got knocked up by the chef from the village pub aged 15. He 'Uncle Sponge Slater' kicked the daughter out making her go and get a scummy council house in a dodgy part of town instead of offering to pitch in and let her finish her education. Aunt Sponge let it happen because he was taking her to Egypt and she didn't want to jeopardise the holiday. They have CCTV fitted to the side of their house even though we live in a sleepy Northamptonshire village in a very very quiet cul de sac and not in fact in Compton, LA.
Overnight we have had a lot of snow and all the kids were out playing and having a great time, the grown ups couldn't go to work as all the roads around the village were blocked so we got some snow shovels and spades and started to build some giant snowmen.
Anyway old twat face from next door has just been out having a go at the kids for making giant snowballs that 'might' roll in the way of his car (obnoxious Range Rover) and block his drive. He didn't know I was standing in my garage and heard his vicious shouty tirade. He made a couple of the smaller kids cry, so I went round to see what all the fuss was about and to apologise for any snow related problems we might have caused for him. He launched into one of the most ridiculous paranoid monologues I have ever heard, a full ten minutes of utter utter nonsensical bollocks, if I hadn't have been standing there listening with my own two ears I wouldn't have believed one person could spout such cock. I ended up walking away saying 'Whatever', a phrase I really don't like at just seemed so appropriate.