Friday 1 August 2008

Words what I use a lot

1/ CUNT.... rude but effective, good if you want to shock someone you dislike. Becomes funnier after loads of wine especially when used by an aged aunt or your Mum.

2/ HOOVER.... as in 'I'll get the hoover' or 'OooOoO let me hoover that up'. I am a bit of a hoover addict, sad but it IS great fun and you get fast results. One of my ideal jobs would be hoovering vast acres of carpet maybe at a palace or big National Trust run house/ mansion.

3/ CLARET.... as in 'There was claret all over, big dust up, some chav got shivved'. I have an annoying habit of becoming a not very funny Cockney fishwife impersonator when relaying stories I might have read in the paper or seen on the news. I drink a lot of wine so also use it in the context of 'OOooOOoo go on them just one more glass of claret won't hurt'.

2 comments:

Geoff said...

'e tripped up, banged 'is 'ead on the 'oover. There was claret all over the cunt.

Inwardly Confused said...

That's right Geoff it were proper awful, mind U he had form as long az yer arm an should by rights be in chokey.....*you get the picture*