This made me laugh

Sexy People

I bet we are all there in some form.

Burnt Up

Yesterday I read in The Observer that 'they' are trying to stop people randomly scattering the ashes of dead relatives. It can damage flora and choke fauna (also ruin a nice picnic). This knocked my idea of being flung around my local M&S cake aisle on the head then.

Halifucks

I went to the Halifax today to put a cheque in, there were two windows free, no queue. Yay I thought. Went to the window, when the girl had put her biscuit down (I know!) and stopped talking she informed me that they don't let you deposit cheques at the desks now you had to deposit them in the cheque deposit machine.
''Oh that machine over there'' I said, ''The one with the four deep queue?''
''Yeah'', she said and picked up her biscuit again.
Fucking speechless.

Bulb Bastards

Those light bulb wielding council meddlers have been around, my nightime darkness heaven is ruined FOREVER!